The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
