At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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