Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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