can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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