Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
