The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
