The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize