and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
