How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
