it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
