Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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