Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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