I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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