I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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