Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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