What did we do last night that was yellow?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize