Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I cut my penus on the lid.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
