Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
