I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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