im drinking this country out of the recession.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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