I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize