Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
