I wish I could teleport
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
