im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
