Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Let's get the cat blown out
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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