im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
