im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
NoShamevember. You game?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
