I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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