Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
