Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
