question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
