I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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