She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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