I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
