Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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