I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Shame - the story of my life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
