It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
