I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
