sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
