I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
