Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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