Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Randomize
