Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
