what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
