dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
