he thought i was a dude.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
