When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize