Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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