I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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