you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
