I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
