D3 body, D1 cock
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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