I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Green mimosas i think yes
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
