One girl and one boy is just not enough.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
