You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i was born a porn star she said
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
