So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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