Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize