Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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