dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
