So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
