Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize