But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
