her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
