I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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